Another Christmas

I captured the wild Christmas tree early this year by the simple expedient of buying in at Kroger's. Wonderful one stop shopping. The poor tree has reposed on the brick patio until tonight when the four of us have sworn to put it up and decorate it with 30 year old child art and various other decorations.

This year it's shopping that's got me excited...in a bad way. As I fear crowds, loathe trying to locate items in a barn like building and hate driving among my fellow crazed citizens, I took to buying on line immediately after I learned how to open the computer. (My daughter still marvels).

I don't have to see on line sellers. I've pretty much eliminated the more egregious thieves (oddly, they're all owned by insurance companies) and life went along quite well until I found the "reviews" section.

Now all is lost.

First I discounted any poorly spelled review-general principles you know. Then I started to read the 750 reviews left (Clearly our education system has exceeded my expectations)

Review 1

I wouldn't give this to my worst enemy. I returned it immediately. The design was pathetic, the materiels used cheap and the damn thing was NOT a Cresta par Festa of the Burgundonian Line but a tacky copy.

Review 2

Wonderful gidget. Can't imagine a better device. Every one will love it!

Review 3

I thought it looked good until I tried to use it and the handle fell off. I'd avoid the machine.

Review 4.

Great little thing. After the handle fell off I just got out my oxy aceletene torch and put it right back on.
It's worked like a dream ever since. Granted the join rusted a bit but the kids like lightly brown spaghetti and rust never hurt a thing.

Review 5

I waited for years for a Cresta par Festa of the Burgundonion Line and finally found it. I must say the machine lives up to it's lofty reputation.Using it I've fed widows and orphans all over the world...it never runs out of pasta.This little gadget has been working for four months, 24 hours a day and it looks like it just came out of the box.

Review 6

Just don't wash it. Really. Really never wash it. Get a boar bristle brush and when it's dry for a day of two, gently brush it out. Remember. Don't wash it.

How am I supposed to make an informed decision? I've gone back to the tried and true. If it's not plastic and no one mentions toxins and it's fairly cheap, I buy it.