This was today

The new mouse is called Ebert. We killed the rest of his clan but he's a survivor. Ebert is graceless vermin. He just stalks across the floor like he owns the place. After all the bank thieveries, he may.  I guess he doesn't know I beat one of his kin to death with a jewelry supply catalogue. If you're reading this Ebert be advised, naked tails and silver prices enrage me.

I just shut down the radio. It's too full of experts and too many of them sport Brit accents. What IS this? I listen to NPR, not the BBC and I notice the Brits are silent only on the subject of health care. Poor babies. Brits are fatally attracted to sunshine and cheap private health care. They also love observing mayhem, naked emotion and people running around. "So Cal" is overrun with Brits and there's no better place for them...esp as it will soon be under water, warm, sunny water.

Still, can't we keep them off the air? All those plummy voices flush with nonsense have their own place. Back on the dank island they can indulge in more traditional avocations: peering into royal thongs, contemplating BBC idols gone pederast, noting their complete lack of privacy and making half hearted pushing gestures at Rupert Murdoch to remind him that home is down under.

Why are they here for our quadrennial train wreck? When did they get to be American political experts? Granted, elections back home are boring compared to ours. They never elected a Black Prime Minister and they never will...and the notion of a Mormon Prime Minister is beyond even their most fervent opium dreams, but come on they have tons of other ex colonies to play in, many are located in warm climates and most are next to a sea.

The other colonies are less effected by the accent which they rightly perceive as affected. Those ex colonies won't let the experts play.